Friend Zone
by L'ange-Sans-Ailes
Summary: What lengths would you go to for someone you loved? What if you realized too late that you loved that person? And finally... What if you're both psychotic women on the run from the law?
1. Crime Spree

It was a typical night in the heart of Gotham City. Shopkeepers had long since closed their doors and went home to rest their weary heads on their pillows. Outside one of these shops was a pink convertible, seemingly left abandoned.

That is until a buxom, red-haired woman ran out of the jewelry store carrying a large sack. She promptly threw the sack into the back seat and leapt into the driver's seat. Before initiating her get away she looked back towards the door.

"I swear that girl will be late to her own funeral," the redhead said with a roll of her eyes, "Harley! Move your ass!"

A red and black streak ran from the store and leapt into the passenger's seat. The redhead took in the other woman's appearance. Instead of placing her ill gotten gain in a sack, this woman decorated in red and black proudly wore her spoils.

"Gee Red, I always love our girl's night out," Harley said flashing her million dollar smile.

Ivy turned to the road, started up the car and drove off in silence.

-The Next Day in Arkham Asylum-

For one hour everyday the infamous inmates of this equally famous asylum were granted the opportunity to stretch their legs and mingle with one another in the rec room.

Joker stretched out on the couch, "I'll tell you Croc old boy," he said with his signature smile on his face, "It's nice just hanging out with the guys, no women around."

"Yeah it's a real sausage fest in here," Croc responded slumping forward.

Joker peeked an eyebrow in disbelief, "Let's just watch T.V. Croc..." he said with a sigh

"Okay," Croc said with an enthusiastic smile.

At that exact moment Gotham's own Summer Gleeson graced the television screen, "Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy continue their two woman crime spree across Gotham," she said in an emotionless state, "Both Police and the Batman have done little more than provide the villainess duo with mild amusement. Which begs the question, has the city of Gotham found it's new Queens of Crime?"

The Joker's smile dropped from his face as the reporter left the screen, "Croc... buddy..." he said forcing a new smile.

"No way," Croc responded shaking his head emphatically, "What ever plan you got keep me out of it."

"Croc, my dearest friend, you wound me," Joker responded putting his hands over his heart.

"Last time I helped you a great white took a chunk out of my backside," Croc said crossing his arms and sinking into the chair.

"It grew back nicely," Joker said holding both thumbs up in approval.

Croc perked up, "You think?" he asked before shaking his head, "No, my New Year's resolution is to not listen to you guys any more."

"But Croc, its September..." the Joker stated putting a hand on the ex-wrestler's shoulder, "You have such a long way until New Year's..."

"Good point," Croc rubbed his chin, "What's the plan?" he asked with a nod.

The Joker grinned, "I thought you'd never ask."

-That night in the Batcave-

Barbara Gordon sat at the supercomputer in the center of the cave while her young friend Tim Drake trained on the balance beam behind her.

Barbara looked up at the screen as the computer began to hum. Suddenly the image of the Dark Knight came into view.

"Batman, to what do we owe the surprise?" Barbara asked flashing him a smile.

"Have you caught Ivy and Harley yet?" Batman asked in his usual stoic tone.

"We're spread pretty thin as it is," she said in a soft tone.

"I'll be gone on League business longer than expected," he said remaining completely devoid of emotion, "I've asked a friend to help you contain this situation."

"We'd appreciate the help," she said feigning her excitement.

"I'll be home soon," he stated almost betraying his nature.

Barbara closed the channel causing the screen to go black, "That could've gone better," she said with a sigh.

Tim leapt from the balance beam, "Oh! Do you think he got us Superman?" he asked with a large smile on his face.

Barbara shook her head, "I just hope its not the Flash... He can never look me in the eyes," she stated in a huff.

"And what if its Nightwing?" a voice asked from the top of the stairs.

Barbara waved him off, "He cant look me in the eyes either... He and Wally are cut from the same cloth," she said finally noticing the third person in the room.

"Good to know Babs," Dick said with a wink.

"Dick! Oh... Hi?," she asked sheepishly, flashing her best smile.

"Dick," Tim said with a smile, "You're gonna be hanging out with us again?"

Dick smiled at the younger boy, "Sure am," he said descended the stairs in a single bound.

Barbara turned back to the computer, "Just like old times."

-Meanwhile in Arkham-

Killer Croc the beast from East Gotham walked to the front of his cell and crouched down.

"Okay Joker... What's the plan?" Croc asked in a hushed tone.

Croc's question was met by silence but before he could ask his question again a massive explosion ripped apart the back wall of Croc's cell immediately causing the alarms to go off.

Croc was left in shock as the Joker walked through the rubble of the wall that once separated their cells.

The Joker leapt up and landed squarely on Croc's shoulders, "Sometime before the guards show up," he said with a cackle.

And with that, Croc ran towards the opening and dove into the raging water below.

Two guards rushed toward the front of the cell and only caught a glimpse of the Joker before he descended from view.

"This happen often?" the younger guard asked.

The older guard crossed his arms, "Beats the hell out of when Scarecrow tries to escape," he said with a nod.

"Fear toxin?" the younger guard questioned nervously.

"Worse," the older guard said as the younger guard steeled his nerves, "Laxatives in the mess hall."

-On the other side of town-

Harley sat in front of the T.V. eating her sugary cereal while Ivy sat on a barstool reading the newspaper. Ivy would periodically look up from the paper at her friend and glare. She would do this a few more times until she finally got fed up.

Ivy got up, walked to her friend and grabbed the remote in frustration, "If you're going to watch the T.V. so loudly, atleast watch something informative," she said flipping the station to the local news.

Summer Gleeson appeared on screen with Detective Harvey Bullock, "Meanwhile in other news, Killer Croc was found robbing a donut cart until Gotham P.D. brought him down. Detective Bullock was the first on the scene," the reporter stated.

As Bullock came into view, Ivy turned off the television, "Killer Croc... You know him, you love him and you wish he'd invest in mouthwash... Why the spectacle?" she asked tossing the remote on the couch.

"Oh!" Harley exclaimed enthusiastically, "Maybe its mating season for crocodiles?"

Ivy shook her head in disgust, "No... He would've just went to the zoo if he was feeling lonely..." she said laying down on the bed.

"I wonder how the big galutt busted out of Arkham all by himself," Harley said laying down on the bed so that her back was touching Ivy's.

Ivy's eyes snapped open, "You didn't tell that court jester where we were going did you?" she asked shutting her eyes in anticipation.

"Course not, Red," Harley said calmly, "Have ta be some kinda putz to tell him where we are."

"Good, I don't want any surprises," Ivy said as she rolled over and snaked a hand around the other girl's waist.

Harley smiled as she rested her hand on Ivy's, "Besides... Why would I want to ruin a good thing?"


	2. Uncle Penguin

-The next night-

The Iceberg Lounge was the hottest nightclub in all of Gotham. Even well traveled partygoers from Metropolis would occasionally frequent the club, but that is a story for another day.

For now, two women entered the club, two women as buxom as they were deadly.

"We're closed," Lark, the redhead of the swimsuit clad waitresses stated forcefully, not looking up from her cleaning duties.

"Ah crap," the blonde, Jay said as she looked at who walked in.

"What?" Lark asked as she finally looked up, "Ah crap..."

At that moment the jet black-haired member of the trio ran up to the scene, "Did you see who just walked in?" Raven asked in shock.

"Nice to know our reputation proceeds us, Harl," Ivy stated in a confident tone.

"Finally got some respect," Harley stated with a toothy grin.

The deadly trio of Penguin's women dropped into fighting stances but before they could mount any attack their employer decided to make his presence known.

"Girls," he called in a voice that echoed off the walls, "I believe the ladies are here for business... not pleasure."

"Yes Mr. Penguin," the trio stated in unison.

Penguin descended the stairs, using his signature umbrella as a cane, "Ms. Ivy, Ms. Quinn, please step into my office," he said gesturing to the backroom.

Penguin walked toward his back office, Ivy and Harley following close behind as the Penguin's trio walked after them.

Once in the office, Penguin took his seat and was immediately flanked by his girls while Harley and Ivy stood in front of him.

"I assume you want to talk business," Penguin said, sinking into his chair.

Ivy bent down placing her hands on the desk, her plentiful chest threatening to spill out from her top, "Oh... We've got a little something from our travels..." she said as she reached into her cleavage and pulled out a rather large pearl.

Penguin's jaw went slack, "Three flawless orbs," he said with a smile, "I'm... sure we can negotiate a price for the pearl and... services offered."

"Speaking as the only skirt in the dump actually wearing pants, where's our money Cobblepott?" Harley asked showing the man her empty wallet.

Penguin cleared his throat, "Right..." he said as he reached under the counter, "Fifty thousand, should cover it nicely," he placed the money on the table.

Harley snatched the cash and grabbed Ivy by the wrist, "Nice doing business with you," she said quickly as she dragged the redhead away.

"You want us to escort them out Mr. Penguin?" Lark asked, a confused look on her face.

"No need to get in the way of a lovers quarrel," Penguin responded.

-Outside-

Harley dragged Ivy out of the club and towards their getaway car.

"Harley, what's your problem?" Ivy asked, her question seemingly falling on deaf ears, "You're hurting me."

Harley let go of the other woman's hand, "Sorry Red... I just don't like being in there..." she said rubbing the back of her neck, "Mr. J always joked about trading me for some ammo and I get nervous being in there."

Ivy rubbed her wrist as she leapt into the driver's seat of the car, "Well, I'm not 'Mr. J'... I don't plan on trading you for anything..." she said as Harley leapt into the seat next to her.

"Thanks Red," Harley responded as Ivy continued to rub her wrist. A small pang of guilt hit her as the car lurched forward and they were on their way to their hideout.

-Meanwhile in the Batcave-

Nightwing walked side by side with the new Boy Wonder, Robin. Nightwing adjusted his glove at the wrist.

Robin took several glances at the older hero, "So..." he started slowly, "What's up with the lack of a cape?"

Nightwing smiled at the boy and placed his arms at his sides, "Don't be afraid to be more than the protégé," he said, expanding his arms revealing the wing-like membrane of his costume, "You can't fit everything into a utility belt."

"Hurry up you two," Batgirl called from the Batmobile, "The Iceberg Lounge closed two hour ago and if we don't get moving it'll be crawling with the Terrible Trio."

"The Terrible Trio?" Robin questioned in an unimpressed tone, "But they're terrible..."

"Well we better get to it before Killer Moth decides to show up too," Nightwing stated, a small smile playing at his lips.

Batgirl glared at the duo, "I hate you both."

-Several minutes later-

Penguin sat as his desk examining the various artifacts and gems he'd purchased throughout the night.

Raven walked into his office and he immediately knew he would have to postpone pleasure and attend to business.

"Yes, my lovely?" Penguin asked with a smile.

"He's here," Raven responded in a worried tone.

"He?" Penguin questioned, receiving a nod in return, "I best not keep him waiting," he grabbed his umbrella and strolled out of his office. He stopped at the door to fully take in the situation, standing at one of the tables mercilessly flirting with the other two henchwomen of the Penguin's harem was none other than the most dangerous man in Gotham.

"Joker," Penguin said under his breath.

Penguin approached the madman, making certain that one of the dining tables remained between them.

"Pengy!" Joker exclaimed with enthusiasm.

Penguin groaned at the nickname, "Please Joker..." he said placing his hat on the table, "Ladies... please excuse us," the girls began walking away, "But not too far."

"I seem to have lost something near and dear to my heart..." Joker said holding his chest, "So, I rushed to my very best friend to see if he'd heard anything."

"Maybe if you had a heart, I'd be inclined to believe you old chum," Penguin spit the last word like it was poison.

Joker's features suddenly became all too serious, "Where's Harley?" he asked his face cold and emotionless.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Penguin said as he turned his nose up at the other man.

The Joker kicked over a table, "Where are they Pengy?" he asked as he grabbed two fistfuls of Penguin's suit.

Penguin slapped Joker's hands away from him, "I'm not afraid of you Joker," he stated as he straightened his tie, "You may be able to bully the feeble minded in Arkham but this is the real world."

The Joker laughed, "Everyone's afraid of something Pengy..." he said as the Penguin's girls surrounded him each pointing an automatic rifle at the Clown Prince of Crime.

"Just leave," Penguin said as he picked his hat from the floor and placed it atop his head.

-Ten minutes later-

The Joker walked away from the Iceberg Lounge as fire erupted from the building and threatened to burn the sky, "He should have just told me where they were."


	3. The B-Team

-Meanwhile-

The famed Batmobile roared through the streets of Gotham seemingly catering to the gawking residents. But little did the inhabitants of the city know that their beloved Dark Knight wasn't the one maneuvering his prized vehicle.

"Why do I have to sit on the arm rest?" Tim asked trying to balance on the accessory.

"Because you can't sit on the stick shift," Batgirl stated keeping a vigilant eye on the road.

"Well he could..." Nightwing started, a smirk playing at his lips, "He just wouldn't like it."

"Can't you come up with anything more mature to say?" Batgirl said with a roll of her eyes.

"Maybe I could..." Nightwing started staring at the woman, "Why do you get to drive?"

"Because Batman gave me the keys," she responded turning up her nose at him.

"No he didn't, he gave them to Alfred and you took 'em when he wasn't looking," Robin chimed in trying his best not to become acquainted with the stick shift.

"Look he gave Alfred the keys because he knew that I was the only one smart and stealthy enough to steal them from him," she stated matter of factly.

In response Robin held up her utility belt while Nightwing held up a pair of white panties with Superman's Shield on the crotch.

"Wait... How did you... what?!" she exclaimed just before slumping in her seat, "I thought I felt a draft..."

-Meanwhile in the warehouse district-

A tall lanky figure clad in black with a noose hanging loosely around its neck approached a broken window that overlooked the city's skyline.

"I am the Master of Fear! The Lord of Despair! Cower before me in witless terror! Worship me fools! Worship me! Scream Hosannas of anguish to Scarecrow! The all terrible God of Fear!" the Scarecrow exclaimed as he threw his arms into the air in typical dramatic fashion.

His rant was followed by a slow clap, "Wonderful speech Scarecrow... A little long winded but you really grabbed me at the end," a pale figure said as he stepped from the shadows.

Scarecrow turned to face the source of his disturbance, "Joker," he said in a low tone, "To what do I owe the pleasure?" he reached out, grabbing his scythe from the shadows.

"I'm going to do you a favor Scarecrow..." Joker said walking forward.

Scarecrow let out a small chuckle, "You're... going to do me a favor?" he questioned sarcastically.

"You tell me where Harley scampered off to and I won't break your legs," Joker said with a sick smirk as he walked toward the other man.

Scarecrow began spinning the scythe, "You made one miscalculation coming here Joker..." Scarecrow said as he turned his back to the Clown Prince of Crime.

"Not as big as the one you're going to make if you don't tell me where she is," Joker said in a low tone.

In one fluid motion, Scarecrow spun around on his heel, darting his hand forward so that it was within a hair's width from the Joker's nose as his signature fear toxin dispersed into the Joker's face.

Joker dropped to his hands and knees as he gasped for his next breath.

"I've often wondered what the most famed rogue in the Batman's gallery feared..." Scarecrow said as he once again began spinning the scythe, "Tell me Joker... What are you afraid of?"

Joker looked up at him, his trademark grin painted on his face, "What else you got?"

-A few minutes later-

Scarecrow lie in a bloody and bruised heap. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a yellow ring. After gathering what remained of his strength he slipped it onto his right middle finger.

"I should have ended this..." he said staring at the ring, "But I could never stand to see you sad... I hope she can protect you child."

-Meanwhile at the Iceberg Lounge-

The normally regal Penguin was berating every police officer within his line of sight.

"Woo... Take it easy Cobblepott..." Detective Bullock said scribbling into his notepad, "We'll catch the guy that did this."

Penguin's face turned a rather interesting shade of red, "Take it easy!?" he repeated loudly, "This is my livelihood!" he exclaimed pointing to the still smoldering ash and rubble, "Everything I own is tied into that building!"

At that precise moment the Batmobile rolled to a stop.

"Oh joy... My favorite vigilante has come to kick me while I'm down..." Penguin stated rubbing his temple.

The canopy to the Batmobile slid open and a very familiar crime fighting trio leapt onto the scene.

"He sent the B-team..." Penguin said with a sigh, "Do I no longer register as a priority for the Batman or must I commit a felony for him to make an appearance?"

"Don't tempt me Penguin," Nightwing said staring at the remains of the Iceberg Lounge, "Insurance fraud... Arson..." he paused to stare at the three women behind the much shorter man, "Polygamy... I'm sure we can find something if we look hard enough..."

"It's not polygamy if you're not married," Penguin responded, giving Batgirl a long look.

Batgirl shuttered, "He tell you anything Detective?" she asked moving away from the business man.

Bullock put his notepad into his coat pocket, "Woo, who said Cobblepott was talking?" he said glaring at the woman.

"Why you..." Batgirl glared right back at the detective.

"Let me try," Nightwing said placing a hand on her shoulder, "Detective, remember the time we busted Thorne's drug ring in that nunnery?" he asked stepping in front of Batgirl.

"How could I forget?" Bullock said with a smile as he pulled his notepad from his coat pocket, "Back to back, me and you against a bunch of gun totting crackheads... Good times."

A smirk slipped onto Nightwing's face, "Let us help you out," he said.

Bullock shrugged, "Cobblepott says Joker came in a little after closing time, wrecked up the place and then set fire to the pool and rode a sea-lion out the front door," he said reading off his notes.

"How do you set water on fire?" Robin asked looking up at Nightwing.

"Practice," Nightwing stated turning back to the Penguin, "Why'd he do it Penguin?"

"Batman you are not," Penguin said turning his nose up at the young man.

"Still hit like him," Nightwing said crossing his arms.

Penguin's head snapped toward Bullock, "Are you going to allow him to speak to me like that!?" he asked as his face turned red.

Bullock closed his notepad, "Yup," he stated simply as he walked back to his car leaving the Penguin in complete shock.

"Save us some time," Batgirl said crossing her arms, "What was the Joker here for?"

Penguin stared at her for a moment, receiving a harsh stare in return.

Robin leaned over to Nightwing, "What should we do?" he asked in a whisper.

"We get out of her way," Nightwing responded walking back to the Batmobile, Robin following close behind.

Batgirl continued to stare down the Penguin until he finally slumped his shoulder's, "Harley, the lunatic was looking for Harley... Why he thought I'd know is a mystery not even Sherlock Holmes could solve," he said with an exasperated sigh.

Batgirl's stare intensified.

Penguin fingered his collar, "They came in tonight to conduct some... Business but I have no inkling of where they could be hiding," he said as beads of sweat began running down his face.

Batgirl turned on her heel and left the short man to his women.

Penguin let out a sigh of relief as his women gathered around to fan him off, "Oswald old boy, If you gaze into the abyss..." he trailed off as he watched Batgirl sway her hips, "My, my..."


	4. Nightwing's Poison

-The Hideout-

Harley sat on the bed in the middle of the room as she watched Ivy kneel on the floor in front of various shrubs. She reached out and rhythmically stroked one of the shrubs tenderly. Harley bit her lip until Ivy unsheathed a pair of sheers and began pruning.

Harley smiled and slunk toward the vixen, "Ivy?" she asked seductively.

"Yes?" Ivy responded, feeding the blonde a quick glance.

"I was thinking..." Harley said leaning forward, "Maybe we could go to the movies... Sit in a nice dark theatre... Just the two of us..." she placed her hands on Ivy's shoulders, "Maybe... Plow the field..."

"Sorry Harl, but my fern doesn't need misting right now," Ivy stated keeping her focus on the task at hand, "Besides, wouldn't you prefer a nice thick root?"

Harley turned away from the other woman, "Not if it's with you..." she whispered softly.

-Early The Next Morning-

In a rundown apartment, in the heart of Gotham city lived one man with his best and only friend. The man was a meek individual who was currently sprawled on the bed in the middle of studio apartment. The man reached out for his friend and found his bed empty.

"Early to bed early to rise and all that... Wouldn't you say so Scarface?" a frightening voice asked.

Wekser's head snapped up to see the Joker sitting on a chair at the foot of his bed, Scarface sitting atop his lap.

"Dummy! I can't feel my legs!" Scarface exclaimed as his jaw remained slack.

"Mr. Scarface!" Wekser reached out for his beloved employer.

Joker pulled the crime boss just out of the older man's reach, "Now... Now, tell me what I want to know," he said, a crazed smile on his face.

"Hands off the merchandise punk," Scarface said, his head slumping to the left, "Don't tell him nothing."

"Punk? You wound me Scarface," Joker said with a grin, "But not as much as I'm going to wound you if your flunkey doesn't talk..."

"What... What do you want to know?" Wekser asked meekly.

Joker leaned forward, his grin shifting into a scowl, "Where is Poison Ivy?"

-Meanwhile-

"How am I supposed to know where she is!?" Dick exclaimed throwing his arms into the air.

"I thought you were stepping out of the Batman's shadow!" Barbara exclaimed glaring at the taller male.

At that moment, Alfred walked into the kitchen to see the young couple at each other's throats, "My word... How long have they been like this?" he asked, shocked the couple continued exchanging insults.

"For two bowls of cereal."

Alfred looked to the kitchen table to see Tim sitting atop the table eating a bowl of cereal while watching the exchange intently.

"You're so smart, you figure out where they are!" Dick said as he stormed out of the room.

"Master Dick," Alfred said as he reached out for the young man.

"Let him go, Alfred," Barbara said, a look of hurt staining her face.

-Later that evening-

Ivy closed her eyes as the water from the showerhead cascaded over her body, she stood in the center of the tub simply allowing her body to bask in the moisture and humidity of the bathroom. After several moments, she had finally had her fill and turned off the shower. She got out of the tub, wrapped a towel around her chest and walked out of the room only to see the Joker sitting in a chair staring at her.

Ivy was unnerved as his stare bore through her eyes, normally when a man stared at her it was aimed toward her bountiful chest or shapely backside. But not this man... Logic did not dictate to this man, for this man could be the devil himself.

"Joker," Ivy said turning her nose up at the bleached man.

"I'm taking back what's mine," Joker said never cracking a smile.

"And just what..." Ivy started before being interrupted.

"Hey Red..." Harley stated meekly.

"You want Harley?" Ivy questioned glaring daggers at the man, "Need your punching bag back or do you just miss having a footstool?"

Joker's lip twitched not into a smile but into a sneer, "Girly... It's time to teach you who goes bump in the night."

-That night-

Nightwing had taken to the rooftops to cool off, as soon as his foot touched a solid surface he took off into a sprint until he reached the edge of the current roof and then with all his might he would leap to the next.

As he approached the next building something in the sky caught his eye.

"The bat-signal," he said in a low tone.

He sprinted toward the police department, leapt off the current roof and deployed his artificial wings, choosing to glide to his new target. After but a few brief moments in the air he touched down on the roof with a practiced grace.

"Not who I was expecting," a familiar voice called out, "But beggars can't be choosers."

"Ivy..." he said as she walked into sight wearing a long trench coat, "What are you doing up here?"

Ivy shrugged with one arm, "Just thought I'd say 'hi' to my favorite man in black..." she said with a smirk, "But I guess you'll have to do."

"Where's Harley?" he asked taking a defensive stance, "Finally grind her up for mulch?"

"Do you even see me as a person?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"That's not fair Ivy," he said shaking his head.

"Why isn't it!? You give me one good reason!" she snapped at him.

"Well... For one..." he started rubbing the back of his neck, "You've been trying to kill me since I was eleven..."

"Not like it was personal..." she said offhandedly, "I wasn't sitting at home coming up with ways to kill the Boy Wonder..."

"Kinda shocked you didn't say blunder," he said with a small smile.

"Well, I've lost a lot of blood tonight," she said leaning against the wall.

"Enough to tell me why you broke into Gotham P.D. just to turn on the Bat-signal?" he questioned closing the gap between them.

Ivy removed her trench coat revealing that her left arm had been amputated at the elbow. She remained silent as she slid down the wall into a sitting position.

"Who did it?" Nightwing asked sitting next to the villainess.

"It will grow back," Ivy replied removing the tourniquet to show him the regeneration.

"Aren't you in pain?" Nightwing asked in a concerned tone.

"A small price to pay to escape with my life," Ivy said resting her head on Nightwing's shoulder, "Don't leave me yet."

"You think I'd leave you?" he asked with a small smile, "I'm the hero of this story."

"It might be a mixture of the pain and chlorophyll but in this light you're kind of cute," Ivy said closing her eyes.

"I… have someone…" Nightwing said hesitantly.

"And I have a vibrator, doesn't mean I'm happy," she said in an almost vulnerable tone.

"I thought you and Harley…" Nightwing trailed off.

"Harley went back to that bleached idiot…" Ivy said with an unconvincing shrug.

"You don't have to put on the front with me, I know how much she means to you," Nightwing said placing his head on top of hers.

"You sound like you speak from experience," Ivy said inching closer to the hero.

"Experience can be the death of us all," he stated with a sigh.

"That cackling moron is going to be the death of her..." she groaned out, "I wish I never met her."

"You don't mean that," he replied sternly, "She's your best friend."

Ivy shook her head, "No she's not, she means much more to me than that and it took that fool cleaving off my arm and beating her black and blue in front of me for me to realize it," she said fighting away tears.

"What could you have done differently?" Nightwing asked softly.

Ivy steeled her gaze, "Not a damn thing... but I can do something now."


	5. The Last Laugh

-Later That Night at the Docks-

Nightwing and Poison Ivy slipped through a window of a warehouse and descended the stacked crates to the ground floor.

"What's your plan?" Ivy asked as she followed closely behind Nightwing.

"Sneak into the warehouse and hog-tie him to the rafters," Nightwing said quietly.

"You're not going to kill him?" Ivy asked in shock, "After everything he's done to this city, to you, to me..."

"I won't cross that line," Nightwing stated calmly.

"He's a monster and if you don't kill him... I will," Ivy said with a look of hurt on her face.

"You can't kill him, Pamela," Nightwing stated softly.

"No! You don't get to call me that! I'm Poison Ivy! And Ivy can do it quite easily..." she said breathing heavily.

"As easily as I got the drop on you?" Joker asked as the lights were turned on.

"Hi Red..." Harley said softly.

Ivy looked at her friend... Her eye was black, her lip was busted and tears had all but whipped away her make up.

"Harl..." Ivy stated, barely above a whisper.

Joker pulled a Tommy Gun from seemingly nowhere, "That counts as your last words," he said with a large grin.

Joker's attention was stolen as shattered glass rained from the sky when Batgirl and Robin descended from the skylight.

"I love target practice!" the Joker exclaimed in glee.

"Move!" Batgirl exclaimed as the Joker opened fire.

Harley took that exact moment to slip away from the Joker's side and run out of a side exit.

"Harley," Ivy said softly.

She reached out in a desperate attempt to stop her only friend but was stopped short as she was tackled to the ground.

"Look out!" Robin exclaimed as he led her to cover.

"Watch the arm," Ivy said in obvious pain.

Nightwing put his back to the crates, "You're late," he said in annoyance.

"Well excuse me... We didn't exactly discuss a signal," Batgirl fired right back.

"So you decided to drop in and surrender the high ground?" Nightwing asked as splinters rained down on him.

"Can we focus on the lunatic with the gun?" Robin questioned sharply.

"Fine!" Nightwing exclaimed pressing his back firmly against the crate, "How'd you find them Joker!?"

Joker turned his attention to the crates and grinned, "I asked Penguin but he didn't know… Then I asked Scarecrow but he didn't know either… Finally I asked the Ventriloquist and Scarface's severed head was happy to talk!" he exclaimed with a cackle.

"What was the point of that!?" Batgirl exclaimed glaring at Nightwing.

Nightwing held up his finger, singling for his comrades to stay patient.

And as if on cue Joker had emptied his weapon in to the crates, "Harley! Ammo!" he exclaimed looking to his side only to see that he had been abandoned, "It's so hard to find good help these days..." he shook his head in a dramatic fashion.

"Stay here," Batgirl said to Ivy as she and the rest of the trio leaped from cover.

"Keep your eyes on him," Nightwing said glaring at the rogue.

The Joker grinned from ear to ear as he grabbed onto a hanging rope, "Well Kiddos, Uncle Joker has to leave but you tell Batsy the next crop better be more creative," he said as he pulled the rope down.

The Bat-trio looked up just as banana peels rained down around them, "Get him!" Nightwing exclaimed pointing at the Clown Prince of Crime.

As Robin stepped forward he slipped and took Nightwing's legs out from under him. By reflex Nightwing reached out and pulled a helpless Batgirl down with them.

"Who's hand is that?" Batgirl asked in irritation.

"Sorry," Nightwing and Robin said simultaneously as they quickly raised their hands.

Joker leaped to the ground floor and gave one final smirk at the trio, "You'll never catch me now Bat-twerps!" he exclaimed with a cackle.

The Joker barreled through the warehouse door only to be blinded by the headlights of several cars.

"Freeze clown!" Bullock exclaimed over his bullhorn.

At the sound of over two dozen guns being cocked, Joker slowly put his hands in the air, "Batsy never thought of this one..."

-Several Minutes Later-

Nightwing watched as Gotham P.D. examined the crime scene. His eye's caught Bullock and they exchanged a respectful nod.

"That was a great plan."

Nightwing turned to see Batgirl standing beside him, "It's easy when you have the best team in the game," he said with a prideful smirk.

"So are we just going to ignore the fact that Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy got away?"

Nightwing and Batgirl turned around to fix a glare on the third member of their team, "Shut up Robin," they said in unison.

Robin smiled, "I heard Bane is recruiting lackeys in crime alley," he said with enthusiasm, "How about we welcome him back?"

Nightwing took off into a sprint, "Only if I get to drive," he said as Robin quickly followed.

Batgirl shook her head, before running after them, "Jokes on you, I have the keys," she said with a smile.

"I took them when slipped on the banana peel!" Robin exclaimed with a grin.

"And don't you feel a draft?" Nightwing asked as he leapt into the Batmobile.

Batgirl fixed both males with a glare, "I hate you both!"

-Meanwhile, a rooftop away-

A dark figure crouched on the ledge as he watched the Bat-trio enter the Batmobile and drive off into the night. His face remained stoic as the team celebrated with smiles and laughter. He turned away, only to be stopped by a barrel chested man with a red 'S' on his chest.

"I knew they could handle it," the Man of Steel stated with a soft smile.

The Dark Knight smirked in kind, "Never doubted them."

And with that the duo walked off into the shadows.

-An hour later-

A blonde woman with a black eye stared out of the window of the train. A sigh escaped her lips as the train pulled into a station in order to allow the final passengers entry.

The overhead speakers cracked as the conductor's voice echoed throughout the train car, "Next stop Gotham Airport."

The blonde closed her eyes as the train sprung to life once more.

"I guess I was just living in denial..." a sultry voice stated.

The blonde smiled, not bothering to open her eyes, "We all tend to do it from time to time," she said facing the other woman.

The sultry woman sat next to the blonde, "Where are we headed?" she asked holding out her only hand.

The blonde held onto her hand and rested her head on the other woman's shoulder, "I hear Star City is nice this time of year."


End file.
